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 当我还未出生时(I hope you can read)

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Xumier
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PostSubject: 当我还未出生时(I hope you can read)   Mon Jan 12, 2009 6:22 pm

当我还未出生时
当我还未出生时,这个世界是属于在当时我思故我在的别人的。我站在遥远的时空过道上,望着这个与我毫不相干的世界。我想象它的安静,想象它是以一种什么样的方式让一个人由小孩子变成老人的。我不知道这个曾经的起点在哪个地方,或许这个起点根本是不存在的,它以一种绝对存在的方式向所有生存在这个世界上的人类宣布:“你们永远是我的臣民。”我们既触摸不到任何这个世界的真实,又无法证实的存在和消逝。我们短暂的生命只是时间光环中微不足道的组成这个光环中的一个分子而已。我们既无法触摸到时间光环的头,又无法看到它所谓的尾巴所在,我们如同置身一个汪洋大海中一样,看不到什么真实的边界,更看不到它本身的存在。我们所能看到的仅仅是虚幻的从遥远的我们所无法想象的地方通过某种物理折射映现在我们眼中的景象罢了。这种感觉就仿佛在深夜中喧嚣的酒吧中,所有交织在一起的不同颜色的时刻变化的光线和节奏感强烈浓郁的音乐以一种我们无法抗拒的方式强加于我们身上,我们在搭建的舞台上移动着脚步和身子,这些结合已经不在是我们的思想,它是远离我们的属于黑暗世界和颓废王国的,时不时地以一种闪电般的袭击方式入侵我们的思想,让我们疲倦、厌倦、忧伤、麻木,这是一个属于毒品和被酒浸泡的世界。
当我还未出生时,我不具备我的任何感觉。这个世界以极其夸张的手法将各种可能的和不可能的事物抛弃到这个世界上,它们就像失去了控制的飞机那样永远无法在美丽的天空中保持自己的平衡。它们留在自己的痕迹里,不敢逃到任何地方去,即使逃到别的领域,它们也会因为怀念和不适应很快回来。可是它们没有属于自己的家,没有自己引以为豪的国家,没有可以供自己掩护的文明。它们真实的存在在渐渐的时间流逝中形成了一种荒诞的滑稽戏。舞台上的它们说什么都会感到不知所措,做什么都感觉迷失方向。它们不知道怎么同这个世界打交道,甚至不知道该如何同这个世界交流。它们背着自己的行囊,四处飘泊,四处为家,直到这出滑稽戏演完为止。舞台下的观众也许看得焦急,但是他们无能为力。他们也很想对舞台上的人喊:“你应该换种方式演。你的这种举动真是沉闷地令人难以忍受。”可是舞台上的人所居的世界是远离舞台下的观众的,它们听不到来自任何地方的声音。它们根本不知道存在舞台,更不知道存在着观众。观众可能已经愤怒地无法自已,但他们只能忍受着这愤怒,继续看下去,因为这出剧是没有任何选择的权利的,更为滑稽的是,还存在另外的一些观众,在不断地张望着这些人。
当我还未出生时,我的世界是沉默寂静的。这个世界不存在我的位置,填充不进我的任何东西。我不知道自己在哪儿,更不知道这个世界的存在原来是如此之近。一切都是自然的,流水、岩石、高山、橡树……它们形成了属于自己的世界,完满地存在着,甚至任何东西都无法插入它们之中。我在思想,但是我不需要任何东西。这个世界与我没有任何关系,我从这个世界上走过,在面前有烈风大作,山崩石碎,我却不在风中;风后地震,我却不在其中;地震后有火,我也不在其中。因为我没有存在,虽然可能在以后的世界我会降生,会生活在这个世界上,但我还未出生时,世界已经存在,一切事物已经存在,法律、秩序和一切规律早已成文,战争在不断爆发,人们不断地出生死去,世界依旧笑着行走,因为它不在人类之中,人类也不在世界之中。人类与世界是脱离在两个不同的领域,人类抛弃了世界,世界也抛弃了人类。当我还未出生的时候便是这样,在我死去的时候仍旧是这样。
当我还未出生时,这便是个有声的世界。收音机和电视的声音通过机械放大传入各个阴暗的角落,它将人类真实的声音装扮地如同假面舞会上的假面具一样,我们不知道这些声音是从哪个地方发出的,它来自人类、动物还是收音机、电视、电脑、遥远的自然之声?原本的真实,声音、面孔,都被人类的自我修饰改变得面目全非,我们不再认识一个人,哪怕是身边最熟悉的朋友,他们一天换一幅样子,就像变色虫那样脱下一件衣服换上另外一件。没有人再认识它,太阳、星星、月亮,它们的影子从这边转到那边,仿佛很恐惧的样子。然而这正是人类的恐惧,它拿着反光镜,从房顶爬进一间房子,它不要让任何人发觉他在想什么,在做什么。在做梦的时候,它也许还在不断地担忧着,害怕一不留神就会有什么东西进入它真实的心中。
当我还未出生时,这个世界已经在发生变化,在我降生的时刻,这个世界也丝毫不停地依旧在变化着,至于我死后——它当然仍旧不遗余力地变化。它的物质组成每一刻每一秒都在发生细微或者巨大的变化,有些我们可以感觉到,有些感觉不到,直到它推动了我们的肉体,我们的精神。我们完全被这些细微的或者巨大的变化伤害着,毁灭着。它淹没了我们的足迹,将我们所做过的事情涂抹地一干二净。我们留不下什么,也改变不了什么。我们的任何举动和踪迹都在它的意料之中,它就像是皮影戏中牵引着我们动弹的人一样决定了我们这些皮影的一切。我们有我们的故事,我们有我们的人生,我们有我们的选择,可全是在它手中指引着的。我们的任何举动都伤害了我们,但是我们不得不这么做。我们可能自暴自弃,为自己的这种无能为力感到绝望,但是我们已经与这个世界融为一体,它可以舍弃我们,我们却不能舍弃它,因为我们的生命掌握在它的手中。无论有没有我们,它仍将存在而一直不停地变化,它不缺少什么,也不需要什么,而我们已经不在存在,已经从这个世界上消失不见,永远不能再存在。
当我还未出生时,我无法感知这个世界上的一切,所有全靠我的想象。我像一个作家一样幻想一些根本不可能或者根本不存在的事物。人们也许正是这样认为:这一切都是不存在的。像作家般的幻想永远不可能变换为现实。这是人类的思想和目光欺骗了人类,凡是人类想象的东西,哪怕再离谱,都是真实地存在于这个世界上的。它在黑暗的深处,就如同我未出生时的情景,无法让我感知,它同样有能力让所有的人都无法感知,因为人人在此之前都不存在。黑暗的深处只是一些模糊不清的碎片,它们漂浮在深夜的混沌中,一点一点地移动,就像拆散开来的文字一样,没有任何意义,但却按一定的规律组合。事实上这恰好是种不确定的存在,但是通过没有秩序的混乱达到了某种程度的规律,它可能只是一时性的,甚至可能是让我们无法察觉的。它没有任何理由,甚至没有任何解释。我们无法判定它的存在与否。只要我们存在,它就会如同灰尘一样向我们靠拢过来。我们无法驱逐它们,更无法躲避它。因为它存在所有的存在物上,甚至可能是一切的存在物,大地、空气、灰尘、岩石、机械、肉体、精神、阳光、黑暗、寒冷……这当然不是想象,而是我们存在时的绝对真实。
当我还未存在时,这个世界已经在继续着冷清和繁华的交替,而且在我存在和死去的世界,还将继续着冷清和繁华。一切冰冷的物质和火热的激情像魔鬼的火焰一样在这个世界上上跑下窜,一时冰冷地清寂无比,一时火热地欲火蔓延。我看到这个世界上追逐欲望的人类张着那令人难以理解的大嘴,以极其冷淡的目光望着这个世界,我不明白它究竟是要寻求冷清还是需求繁华。冰一样的世界向四周蔓延的时候,人类一动不动,躲避在自己动物般的洞穴中,静静地呆着,甚至停止了自己所有的幻想。繁华的世界也朝人类淹没过来,我看到满身沾满着精液的男人和张着双腿的女人,它们的裸体在这个火热地几乎令人窒息的世界上爬行着,四周的一切都充满了欲望,岩石、酒、沙发、房子、灯光、街道……都张着欲望的眼睛,试图寻找自己的猎物。贫穷者正在远离自己的家乡,梦想者正在堕落的繁华中寻找自己的梦想,成名者、演员、歌星在冰窖中放纵情欲,在繁华中打着呵欠。因为我还未存在,我感到由衷的欢心,这样的世界没有我,永远没有我的存在,我不生活在繁华中,也不生活在冷清中。
当我还未出生时,灾难就已经注定。它同神谕那样不可违背,在适时的时候便会降临这个世界。这个世界上所有的一切都没有反抗的权利,它们只能顺从地接受一切。战争已经来临,而且将长期持续下去,堕落的人类将要觉醒,它们将撕掉自己的衣服,扔掉自己的面包和红酒,抛弃自己的情欲,拿起那好几个世纪之前的武器。这是先祖的兵器,曾经在战场上杀敌无数,现在由它继承了,它死后还会有更多的人来继承,只有一点是可以确定的——它将杀敌,杀敌,杀敌数不清的敌人。所有的法律、道德和秩序完全消失,就像历史中埋葬掉的王国一样。人类几万亿年来一直便是处于此种状态中的,它们怀着热血澎湃的心,穿过从未闯进过的领地,同一些与自己无怨无仇厮杀。我们以为自己一直生活在陆地上,其实人类一直生活在沙漠和陆地的边缘和大海和陆地的边缘,我们的每一步都可能走进自己永远再也无法再走出的世界。一切的存在不是以爱情为基础的,也不是以仇恨为前提的,它存在而且继续存在下去,它远离着任何情感,从来没有被任何东西所创造。这就像一个富有孝心的孩子抛弃自己的父母一样不具备任何理由,这不需要解释,也不需要改正,因为这是我还未存在的世界。
( 须弥 2008-11-17)
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PostSubject: Re: 当我还未出生时(I hope you can read)   Mon Jan 12, 2009 10:44 pm


wow That's cool Xumier, I like chineese language Very Happy . I see this topic is read horizontally But I remember that may be japanese or chinese should be read vertically right? lol! . I think We have other members here from china also . I will be happy if you provide us with its translation , coz We are excited to know what the topic about . :farao:

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PostSubject: Re: 当我还未出生时(I hope you can read)   Thu Apr 16, 2009 11:40 pm

i discovered this amazing tool in google. http://translate.google.com/
The translated one, though not very accurate, is just enough to let us grasp the main ideas of this great writing. Technology seems to have overcome language barriers!
this piece is thought-provoking. before i was born would be such a heaven


When I am not yet born

When I am not yet born, the world is at that time, I think, therefore I am of others. I was standing too far away along the space-time, looked at this has nothing to do with my world. I imagine it's quiet, it is to imagine what kind of a way to make a person become elderly by children. I do not know if this was where the starting point, perhaps the starting point simply does not exist, it exists in an absolute way to all live in the world, announced that the human: "You will always be my subjects." We not touch any of the real world, but also could not confirm the existence and fade away. Our short lives of only a matter of time composed of small rings in the ring more than one molecule. We can not touch the glory first time and not be able to see the so-called tail of it and we like the same place in a vast ocean, do not see what the real boundary, but can not see the existence of its own. We can see is just a fantasy we are from distant places can not imagine a physical refracted through the video of the scene is now more than our eyes. This I feel as if the noise late at night in bars, all intertwined with the different colors of light changes over time a strong sense of rhythm and music with a strong resistance to the way we are not able to impose on us, we set up the stage footsteps and the moving body, the combination is no longer is our thinking, it is far away from our belonging to the Kingdom of darkness and decadence, from time to time in a lightning attack on the invasion of our way of thinking, let us tired, weary , sadness, numbness, this is a drug and alcohol are immersed in the world.

When I was not born, I do not have any of my feelings. The world is extremely exaggerated approach to the various possible and impossible to abandon the things of this world, they just lost control of the plane can never be as beautiful sky maintain its balance. They stay in their own signs, the dare to go any place to flee, even fled to other areas because they will remember and not suited to come back soon. But they have no home of their own, do not have their own proud country, and there was no cover for their own civilization. Their real existence in the passage of time and gradually formed a kind of absurd burlesque. Arena said they would feel at a loss what to do are feeling disoriented. They do not know how to deal with the world, and even do not know how to exchange with the world. They carry their own luggage, drift around, around their home until the run up to the burlesque. Perhaps the next stage, the audience anxious to see, but they could do nothing about it. They also wanted the people to the stage shouting: "You should act in other way. Your such a move is really boring and intolerable." But the stage was in the world is far away from the stage of the audience that they can not hear the voice from anywhere. They simply do not know the existence of the stage, but do not know the existence of the audience. The audience may have been unable to their own anger, but they can only put up with this anger, Read on, because this opera does not have any right to choose, the more ridiculous is that there are still a number of other viewers, are constantly looking with these people.

When I am not yet born, my world is quiet silence. Does not exist in the world my position is not filled with any of my things into. I do not know where, but do not know the existence of the world was near. All these are natural, water, rocks, mountains, oak ... ... they formed their own world, the existence of perfect, or even anything that can not be inserted into them. I was thinking, but I do not need anything. The world and I do not have any, I come from this world, there is a gale in the face of the NPC, landslides stone broken, I do not in the wind; the wind after the earthquake, in which I do not; fire after the earthquake, in which I do not . Because I did not exist, although they may in the future I will be the birth of the world will live in this world, but I am not yet born, the world already exists, all things that already exist, law, order and all the laws already written, the war continues broke out, people continue to die at birth, the world is still walking with a smile, because it is not human, and not in the world of humanity. Human beings and the world is out in two different areas, abandoned the world of mankind, the world has abandoned the human. When I was born is not the case, when I die is still the case.

When I was not yet born, this is an audio world. Radio and television by mechanical amplification of sound into the various dark corners, it will sound real human beings dressed in masquerade, as the masks, we do not know these voices issue from where it comes from humans, animals or radio, television, computers, and the distant sound of nature? The true original, sounds, faces, human beings have been changing the self-modified beyond recognition, we are no longer aware of a person, even his most familiar friends, they look like a day-for-like color to take off an item of clothing, as insects replaced by another. No one will know it, the sun, the stars, the moon, their shadows from the side to side, as if very much like fear. However, this is the fear of humanity, with its mirrors, crawl into a house from the roof, it will not allow anyone to find he was thinking about, is doing. In the dream, it may still continue to worry, and fear of a what will be inattentive to enter the hearts of its true.

When I am not yet born, the world has changed in my time of birth, the world still did keep changing, and as far as I am after death - it is still spare no effort to change course. The composition of the material it every second of every minute in the event of minor, or have changed dramatically, and some we can feel, some do not feel until it push our body, our spirit. We fully by these minor changes or significant injury, and destruction of. It flooded our footprint, we have already done to completely smear. What we have to stay high, it can not change anything. Any of our moves and all traces of its expectations, it towed like a shadow in our decision to move people like us in all these shadow. We have our story, we have our life, we have our own choices, it can be in the hands of the whole of the guidelines. Any of our actions have hurt us, but we have to do so. We may give up on themselves for their own helpless despair that, but we have already integrated with the world, it can give up, we can not abandon it, because our life is in the hands of it. With or without us, it will continue to exist and has been continuously change, it does not lack anything, what do not need, and we no longer exist, has disappeared from sight in the world can never exist any longer.

When I am not yet born, I can not perceived the world, all, all depend on my imagination. I like fantasy as a writer or some impossible things simply did not exist. People may not think it is: All these are non-existent. As a writer of fantasy like never transform into reality. This is the deception of thinking and vision of humanity, all human beings to imagine things, even if further out, are truly exists in this world. It's deep in the dark, just as I have not the scene of birth, can not let me perception, it also has the ability to allow all of them can not be perceived, because everyone did not exist before. Just some of the darkest depths of the debris blurred, they float in the night of chaos, little by little to move, just to break up the text off the same, there is no significance, but according to certain rules of combination. This is a just a matter of fact the existence of uncertainty, but did not order through the chaos to achieve a certain degree of regularity, it may only be temporary, and may even be so that we can not be perceived. There is no reason for it, not even any explanation. We were unable to determine the presence or absence of it. As long as we exist, the same dust as it will close up to us. We can not expel them, it will not be able to escape. Because it exists on all of existence, or even the existence of all the earth, air, dust, rocks, mechanical, physical, spiritual, sunlight, darkness, cold ... ... This is certainly not unimaginable, but absolutely at the time of our existence true.

When I have not yet exist, the world has continued alternating quiet and prosperous, but the existence and died in my world, will continue and the deserted downtown. All the cold material and hot as the devil in the flames of passion in this world, like the run run away, but at other times very cold and lonely the time to desire the spread of heat. I see the desire to chase the world's human Zhang TV drama is hard to understand the large mouth, and with great indifference of the world looked at, I do not understand what it is to find the demand for quiet or busy. Ice as the spread around the world when motionless human, animal shelter in his cave-like, quiet stay, or even stop all his illusions. Prosperous world over the North Korea Human submerged, I saw stained with semen all over the men and the legs of a woman Zhang, and their nudity in the stifling heat in the world, almost crawling, and everything around is full of a desire, rock, wine, sofas, houses, lighting, street ... ... the desire of all Zhang's eyes, trying to find their prey. The poor are far away from their home, dreams of prosperity are degenerate to find your dream, famous persons, actors, singers indulge in the icehouse in passion, in the name of prosperity and yawn. Because I have not yet exist, I am sincerely happy that such a world, not me, never my existence, I do not live in downtown, by not living in the deserted.

When I was not yet born, already doomed to disaster. Oracle can not be the same as it is contrary to, in a timely manner, when the world will come. In the world do not have all the rights of resistance, they can only be accepted with all obedience. War has come, but also the long-term sustainability, human degradation will be awakening, they will tear their clothes, throwing away their bread and wine, to abandon their lust, to take up a century ago that several of the weapons. This is the ancestor of the weapons, had numerous enemy on the battlefield, and now it has inherited from it after death there will be more people to inherit, only one thing is certain - it will fight the enemy, enemy, killing enemy countless enemies. All legal, moral and order completely disappeared, as the history of the kingdom, like bury.Millions years mankind has been in such a state is, they are outpourings of the heart with blood, through the territory has never been entered, with no complaints nor anger with their own fighting. We thought they have been living on land, in fact, human beings have been living in the desert and the edge of the land and the edge of the sea and land, we went into each step may no longer be able to always come out of the world again. The existence of everything is not based on love or hatred based on the premise that it exists and continue to exist, it is far away from any emotion, never created anything. It's like an abandoned filial children as their parents do not have any reason, it does not explain, do not need to correct, because it is the world I have not yet exist.
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PostSubject: Re: 当我还未出生时(I hope you can read)   Fri Apr 17, 2009 9:29 am

Wing what can I say ??...MARVELOUS MARVELOUS MARVELOUS......really i appreciate ur effort in displaying the translation to us.....honestly the following words stopped me for a while...they are really wonderful... cheers

Our short lives of only a matter of time composed of small rings in the ring more than one molecule.

from time to time in a lightning attack on the invasion of our way of thinking, let us tired, weary , sadness, numbness, this is a drug and alcohol are immersed in the world.

They do not know how to deal with the world, and even do not know how to exchange with the world. They carry their own luggage, drift around, around their home until the run up to the burlesque. Perhaps the next stage, the audience anxious to see, but they could do nothing about it. They also wanted the people to the stage shouting: "You should act in other way. Your such a move is really boring and intolerable." But the stage was in the world is far away from the stage of the audience that they can not hear the voice from anywhere.


I just have a comment about the next words as I not agree with it

The existence of everything is not based on love or hatred based on the premise that it exists and continue to exist, it is far away from any emotion, never created anything. It's like an abandoned filial children as their parents do not have any reason, it does not explain, do not need to correct,

I don't know but I think this world didn't come habhazard or without a reason ..... I understood from the previous words that the world was created in wrong way or not supposed to be created but it was......I think this can't be the reality...!!! what you think?


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PostSubject: Re: 当我还未出生时(I hope you can read)   Tue Apr 21, 2009 6:23 am

Thanks Xumier for this post and great work Winglee with the translation.

"They do not know how to deal with the world" - I loved this line, it really jumped out at me. This is what I try to do when I deal with people, teach them how to cope with life.

There is a lot information in this post - and a lot of it is hard for me to wrap my mind around scratch - maybe someone can explain it all to me! Very Happy
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